Carolyn Creative

Here comes January!  We have holiday thank you notes to write, a new year to write on our checks, super bowl fervor, and …drum roll please, resolutions.  After closing 2008 with a binge of overspending and overeating, Americans are determined to steer themselves down a steadier path of health and discipline.

The idea is a positive one.  By making resolutions, we vote yes to the possibility of change.  We establish faith in the idea that we can alter set or negative programming.  Most goals are admirable, especially if we are making healthy eating or exercise a priority.  Many people resolve to keep in touch more regularly with friends and/or family.  Sometimes our resolutions might be professional or creative – resolutions inspire individuals to work on achieving some of their dreams.

Unfortunately, come February or March, the resolution spirit sometimes fades.  That Greek salad you thought about making doesn’t sound as tasty as a steak burrito with the works.  It’s really too rainy to jog.  It’s much more fun to watch “Project Runway” than to organize your financial budget.

I own and teach at a yoga studio.  When my students miss yoga class, they can be hard on themselves.  They trudge into the studio with their shoulders slumped.  I’ve even heard them say, “I’ve been so bad.” This seems a bit harsh.  Wouldn’t “bad” be an adjective more appropriate reserved for folks who commit heinous crimes?  I’ve always thought “bad” might be a good word to describe an able bodied person who parks in a handicapped space.

The challenge in keeping resolutions is found not only in keeping them but also in the paralyzing guilt that accompanies breaking them.  Could this date back to the rigid roots of our pilgrim forefathers?  If we digress from our plan, we tend to chastise ourselves to the point of abandoning out intentions.  How often do dieters stray from their planed meal and then embrace the logic that says, “Oh, I ruined my diet.”  As if one bowl of ice cream has brought down a nation!  The disappointment from this lapse can and often does snowball into a continuation of old habits.

My suggestion is to combine one’s resolution with forgiveness.  In yoga, we approach the poses with abhyasa and vairagya, which means “best efforts, surrender the results.”  Why not keep your resolutions, but also incorporate some kindness in the plan?

First, take pride in your effort.  By trying to make changes in your life, you are honoring yourself.  That in itself is pretty groovy.  Secondly, have realistic expectations.  Choose goals that you have a possibility of fulfilling.  Most of us won’t drop pounds that quickly unless we’re assigned to a tribe on “Survivor.”  Apply softness and knowledge of yourself when you make your resolutions.

And lastly, forgive!  Chastising yourself will only perpetuate whatever quadrant of low self-esteem that inspired the resolution in the first place.  If you slip up on your diet, forgive yourself and try again at the next meal or snack.  If you skipped your spin class, check the schedule to see if there is another tomorrow or take a walk instead.

In yoga, we say each inhale provides a new opportunity, a new moment.  This year, why not offer yourself a new kindness with your resolutions?